Friends & Relationships

I had friends who just wouldn’t let me become bitter or wrapped up in self pity or any of those things that destroy people.
– Linda, spinal cord injury

I used to feel that the other kids might not want to play with me because I was different, smaller and stuff like that. But now I don’t feel that way at all; I just feel that I’m included, and that I have a lot offriends to be with.
Ginny, short stature

After I moved away from my parents I began to meet people and get involved at the university. I felt less and less lonely. I found that if you get out and do the things that you like to do, you will meet people with whom you have things in common … that’s how friendships are formed.
– Lori, partially sighted

I’ve met an awful lot ofreally nice people. I enjoy the conversations I have with people as they push me along. I like people and always have. If I were MISS INDEPENDENT, I would never meet any people-communication is what life is all about to me. I get my ups and downs from other people.
– Kathleen, paraplegic

Throughout my teenage period, I got along fairly well with the same sex rather than with the opposite sex. Though at different times I had two steady boyfriends, I never was serious with them. I was cautious, wondering what drew them to me and if they were ever going to accept me for who I was. I could hardly trust and relate completely to them. Because ofmy burns, I decided to forget the idea of having a boyfriend.

But in my second year in college I met a fellow who was so gentle and understanding. We dated several times before I realized I was in love with someone who cared for me just as I was. He finally convinced me I was wanted and loved, regardless of my burns. I was able to express my feelings openly for the first time to someone I came to trust. Because I was “old-fashioned,” I never discussed future marriage plans with him for fear I would be too aggressive; I didn’t want to lose the close relationship we had developed with each other. I waited patiently for about two years, when he finally asked me to marry him. Was it real or was it a dream? I didn’t want to believe him so I overlooked his request for a week, then he brought it up once again. This time he made it clear we were going to be married for true. We were married two months later.
– Lois, deaf

I love to dance. My grandmother would always laugh at me, tease me, “You don’t mean boys dance with you?” One time we went to a wedding and a boy asked me to dance, a slow dance. He took me back to my grandmother and when he didn’t ask me for another dance, she said, “Of course he didn’t come back. He probably felt your leg braces.”
– Rosalba, post polio

I am a student, so I keep fairly busy. I have many friends but I have not found anyone who I would like to become involved with. I think that my disability has played a small part in this. It will just possibly take a little more time to find a suitable companion.
– Lori, partially sighted

Because of my physical condition, I was given limits by people. They assumed that they knew all about me because they read about cerebral palsy in their college textbooks.
– Laureen, cerebral palsy

I have been blessed in my life with exsome- onetraordinary friends . . . . They encouraged me to apply to the university even if it meant going and banging on the door and demanding acceptance. I had been brought up to think that I had nothing to offer the world but to accept the role that society decreed, with pity thrown in for good measure.
– Pat, post polio

My husband is great, but his family hates me because I’m disabled. His friends always told him, “You’re so good-looking, why do you go with someone like her?”
– Rosalba, post polio

When I come out of the subway I stand still for a minute and listen to see which side the escalator is on. It never fails: someone comes up and says do you need help. It’s really bad when they won’t take no for an answer. Some people have actually taken hold ofmy cane and dragged me off. Usually to the wrong place.
– Sheila, blind

The first time I saw an inchworm I was 21 years old. It was the first time that somebody stopped to show me and the first time I really asked to be shown. For 21 years I’d been walking around with my sighted friends and every time they’d say, “Look at this, Gaile, look at that,” I’d say, “Wow, that’s neat,” but I hadn’t seen anything. It was much less painful than saying, “I really don’t see it.” Because then they’d stop asking me and relating to me. I faked it. So this guy said, “That’s a really neat inchworm,” and I said, “Where?” and instead of pointing down he picked up the inchworm and put it on his forearm, put his arm close to my face and said, “Watch.” And the inchworm started to crawl. It was the first time I’d ever seen one. I’ll never forget the experience.
– Gaile, visual impairment

Most people are ignorant and don’t know what real love is ’cause they’ve never had it. They don’t know how to reach out and touch us because they’re afraid we’re going to kill them or hurt them or something. They don’t know how to say, “Hey, you’re a person too, and I understand you’re mentally retarded.” I’ve met a lot of people in my life who didn’t understand why I’m mentally retarded, why I’m like this.
– Lynn, mentally retarded