What do people do when they’ve retired from the world? Jackie Kennedy had a whole island so she could swim and sun bathe naked until a photographer with a helicopter found her. It’s probably safer to stay indoors.
I could try fasting and see if I get any visions. I could memorize the Bible. I could write letters to world leaders asking for peace.
It’s funny but right now, I don’t feel lonely at all, like when I’m in the hospital and my mother leaves or when I’m the last person chosen for volleyball. I’m not sad or scared. I’m just relieved.
My grandmother always says that being alone and being lonely aren’t the same thing. She loves to be alone. She sits down and has coffee with herself. I know to stay out of her room then.
And me. My favorite thing when I’m alone and I’m sure no one is watching is to dance. All sorts of music—Swan Lake, Linda Ronstadt, jazz. I call it practicing though I couldn’t tell you for what. I try it at parties but I’m pretty nervous, all that leading and following gives me trouble. But I’m really good when I’m all alone.