Lois was born in the deep south. She is the L youngest of six children, three brothers and two sisters, and grew up on a farm. She is the only disabled child in her family. Lois was not born disabled . She became disabled at the age of five after she was burned in an accident. While in the hospital the doctor gave her medication which caused her deafness. Here she discusses her school experiences:
All the three teachers that I had in public school passed me, not because I was really learning but because they “felt sorry for me.” They felt that was the only thing they could do. That attitude was really common with black communities, especially in the South.
It was hard for me at first at the deaf school. Most of the students didn’t look at me as a deaf person, they looked at me as a burn victim, and their facial expressions made me feel even worse than with the hearing students. My favorite teacher was my math teacher. He was the one who encouraged me to keep up with what I was doing. He was the one who brought the idea of college to my mind; he was the one who would tell me that someday I would be this or that. I’d say, “Huh, it’s not possible;’ and he’d say, “Yes, you can.” Sometimes he’d tell me about how hard it had been for him to go to school. He told me, “You will be the first black girl from this deaf school to go to college and come back and teach the other kids.” “Well,” I thought, “that’s not a bad idea.”
During my junior year, my class from the black deaf school was bused to the white deaf school. I felt one of the teachers there was really prejudiced because she was using the signs as though they meant “nigger” instead of “black.” She thought that we blacks were ignorant. I was really furious! When I was in my senior year at the white deaf school, the teacher asked if we knew who was valedictorian. I didn’t want to say anything because I knew that she would start cursing, so someone else in the class said,”It was Lois.” It was me. The teacher said, “Why, you are not supposed to be, because you have not been at this school long enough.” I said nothing. My classroom teacher selected from everyone’s name and grades put in together; I had the top grades.
The next week the principal came to the typing class and informed me that I had passed the Gallaudet entrance exam, the college exam. I was not shocked. I kind of expected it. I found out that I was the only one in the whole class that passed. I really felt honored to be the first black from that school to enter college.
On graduation day, my family, in-laws and relatives and friends, all came as a group to my graduation. Graduation was at the white school. I had to give a short presentation. I really felt good that day because my uncle from New York flew in, and so did my uncle from Florida. That was a really big change for me. I knew then that my people really cared about me and cared about my future.
In the summer right after I graduated from high school, I was making plans to go to college. I took the train all the way to Washington, D.C. My cousin met me there. She took me to Gallaudet and that was something really different from my high school. It was a lot of competition for me there. I really felt different compared with how I lived at the old school. There was no supervisor always watching me. I could get around anywhere on campus. I could even go off campus by myself. Before, I couldn’t even go out without a supervisor going with me or someone, some adult, accompanying me. I also made a lot more friends. I joined activities. Most of my friendswereblack.Therewereveryfewofus and we were really close to each other because we felt like we were lost and disconnected from our own people. Every weekend we would get together and have a party. We would go out; we really had a ball.
The teachers there were ok. They were not as understanding or as friendly as teachers had been in the black deaf school. Their attitude was, “I see you during the day, but at 5 o’clock I’m gone for the day.” I also came to realize that at Gallaudet the students controlled things. At the deaf school, things were managed by the supervisors and the teachers. Also, I began to see black and white students together.
A fter college I had mixed feelings about whether I was going to be as successful in a career as I had been in school. I was surprised to get a job a couple of months later with an organization serving the handicapped as an evaluator/trainer. With this job experience, I had some kind of self-confidence, support and understanding as to what I wanted to do in my career.
Unfortunately, I had to go on maternity leave after six months of work. When my first child was four months old, I returned to work on a part-time basis as an instructor with the low-functioning deaf. A year later I was offered a full-time position as a Rehabilitation Specialist, gaining rich experience, from which I was later temporarily promoted as acting coordinator of the entire hearing impaired program with the departure of the then coordinator.
My high hopes of becoming the coordinator were shattered when the administration discriminatorily hired someone else whom I thought was incompetent to work with the hearing impaired, especially the low functioning deaf.
Somehow, I felt that I had been unfairly denied the opportunity to fulfill my dreams and goals because of my disability, race, and sex. It was really humiliating.
For the next two years, I ended up staying at home as a full-time mother and housewife, trying to see if that was what I really wanted to do. Instead of being the same happy person I used to be, I was getting depressed. I began to withdraw from society and didn’t want to be bothered by anyone, except those few close friends who were encouraging me. Depression and dislike of myself were killing me; I knew it was time to get out of the house and back on the go. The problems were to find some people who would understand my feelings and what I had to go through. I even tried to look for work but I didn’t really feel that I was ready to get back into the work world. One day my husband brought home some job announcements for me to look through, one from the west coast. It sounded good and since I needed a break, I thought, “Why not try it and see?” I checked into it and was given the opportunity to try. This was the time that I came across people who understood my problems and what I was facing. The doors once again opened for me to take the opportunity to build my confidence in myself, which I’d lost over the past few years. I started working part-time, doing the kind of work I really enjoyed so much in the beginning. As the job came close to ending, I wondered what I was to do next.
Of course, I didn’t want to go back to being a full-time housewife and mother and feeling depressed. When I asked two people from the office what I should do when the job ended, they quickly said that I was wanted to work in the main office out west. I thought about moving, leaving my family and friends. It was a very difficult decision to make.
After many weeks, I finally made up my mind to move on out west, not just because of the job but also because I needed a new life. The move has changed me a lot. I think I’ve adjusted pretty well to this new environment. So far I’ve met many new friends, and I love my work.